Why I Can't Wait For Menopause

Embracing "The Change"

At 53 years old, I can’t wait for menopause. It can’t come quick enough for me. I am 110% looking forward to this. But I feel as though I might be a minority.

Just Googling menopause, there isn’t much positivity about it. There seems to be a lot about suffering through it - images of women looking uncomfortable, articles about the symptoms and how to ease them, support groups to join. Finding concrete information about menopause is not easy either. Searching the internet for expert advice from reputable medical sources - it’s still all pretty vague, and not exactly good news. And you know what? The positives of menopause (and yes they exist) are rarely mentioned at the top of the list. If you hit a chat room, there are infinite threads on the problems people are having with HRT. It seems that menopause is not something women should be looking forward to - nobody really knows for certain what will happen to you, chances are you are going experience a myriad of uncomfortable symptoms, be more susceptible to certain medical issues such as osteoporosis and heart disease, and the big one - it signals you are old.

Becoming a Woman

I remember being given pamphlets at school when I was about 11 years old on periods and “becoming a woman”. I read those pamphlets over and over and over. I could not wait to get my period and “become a woman”. I was a little girl wanting to grow up and be beautiful like the women in magazines. It signified that you were growing up. You would be attractive, shapely, womanly. That you could marry, have children and become a mother. When I did get my period it was nothing like they said it would be. It was very disappointing.

I look back now and I wonder if that little girl who wanted her period so badly had any idea what she was in for. I can tell you right now she was not. Cramping so severe that she would be in tears curled up in a ball on her bed. Bleeding so heavily that you would have to change her tampon every hour, and always wear a pad “just in case”. Huge clots that made her feel like she might be haemorrhaging. It was definitely not like the pamphlet. I had been brainwashed, completely deceived.

I have menstruated for approximately 40 years, on average seven days per month - thats a total of 3360 days of my life (or just over nine years). I’m done. I am so done. I am at an age where I couldn’t give a shit about going into a public toilet and unwrapping a tampon or pad - I’m not keeping it as quiet as possible so no one can hear me. I’m at the stage where I have tampons just lying all around the house, falling out of my handbag. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I have gotten a pad stuck in my purse and pulled it out at the shops when I am going to pay. I’m not hiding them away anymore. But where I really want to be is at the stage where I don’t have to purchase them ever again. And I don’t have to deal with periods anymore.

Menopause Needs to Be Celebrated

Our society celebrates when we get our first period. And we mourn when we go through menopause. When it ends. We mourn a loss of youth and beauty, we mourn a loss of womanhood, an ability to create life. I think thats wrong. Because I don’t think it’s an ending - it’s a new beginning. I see it as moving forward to the next chapter. An amazing chapter. And I have so many things I am looking forward to:

• No periods - bring it!

• Not having to spend money on tampons and pads.

• Not having to worry about contraception or an unwanted pregnancy.

• Not having plan travel around that time of the month - free to go where ever whenever.

• The “I don’t give a fuck” attitude (I think I might have already have this - or at least its growing each and every day).

• Making peace with myself, living in my truth, letting go of the conditioning, and embracing this cycle of my life.

• De-centering men (this is something I did about 10 years ago - best thing I ever did for myself).

• To embrace the wise and powerful older woman that I am destined to become.

We live in an ageist society, which is framed by patriarchal expectations. Women must be young and beautiful and a woman’s value is seen to decline by age. Older women are demonised to ensure younger women don’t identify with them or wish to learn from them. Older women are harder to dominate. Older women have more life experience and wisdom and have much more power over their own lives. Wise and powerful women are a threat to a patriarchy and ageism is one way the oppression of women is continued. I hate to say it, but looking back on my youth I can see its true. Many young women lack this wisdom that older women have, making them much easier to manipulate and control. The patriarchy does not want them listening and learning from the older women in society.

The Wise Woman’s Manifesto

I am not disappearing.
I am refining.
I cast off what no longer fits
Let the world say what it will
I get to say what is.

My body is not betraying me.
She is inheriting her new power.
I hear her.

I honour her.

I never apologise for her.

I never ask permission.
I never seek approval.
I have traded being nice for self, need for presence.

My beauty does not lie in youth.
It lies in the courage to be exactly who I am.
I am your daughter, sister, mother.
And now I am older, deeper, wiser.
I am a full creation of history and knowing.

Unhidden. Unhurried. Unafraid.

I am the keeper of memories.
The story teller.
The wise one at the edge of the fire.
I carry the healing of all who came before.

This is not the end.
This is my return.

This ageist conditioning is something that I no longer have. At 53 years old, I know I’m not young, but I am also not old. There will always be someone older and someone younger than me in life (or maybe one day I will be lucky enough to not have anyone older than me). And because I have unconditioned myself to the fear of ageing as a woman, I don’t fear menopause. I see it as a part of my life of a woman. It’s my biology. A milestone. A pivotal point. A celebration. And I might have symptoms which are uncomfortable, or I might not, but I know I will get through because I have spent 9 full years of discomfort with my period. And with the knowledge that full freedom is on the other side. I can’t wait.

Age isn’t just a number - its experiences, wisdom, and growth. I would love for you to share your thoughts on this, no matter what stage of life you are in.

If this writing spoke to you, I have some offerings that may interest you below.

The Wise Woman’s Journal - a free 10 page journal containing journal prompts, the wise woman’s manifesto and affirmations.

I am Woman Spotify Playlist - something to groove around the house to, or listen to while you are journaling.